|I don't take the word "miracle" lightly. Sometimes events are termed "miraculous" and they really aren't. Let's face it, a front row parking spot at W@l-Mart is nice (and unusual for most of us), but not necessarily miraculous. Then, there are times when I think the miraculous is overlooked and God's gift of providence is chalked up to luck.|
But, we, well, we have been given a miracle in the truest sense of the word. We have been given the opportunity to bring our son home from China. Our little Patrick, whose referral was "lost" has been "found". We were denied the opportunity to call him our own based on the beliefs and personal feelings of one person. We have now been given approval to adopt him.
The day after Thanksgiving (and the day before our 17th wedding anniversary) I got an e-mail from my dear friend, Sonia, who is Patrick's advocate and, truly, the hands and feet of Jesus. The e-mail said, "Sit down." Sonia went on to explain that Patrick was ALIVE and available for adoption.
I wept for joy, in disbelief and, not to my credit, in fear. Understand that not a day has gone by since we lost his referral that I have not wondered about that precious little boy. I have asked myself, over and over, whether I did everything in my power to bring him home along with Moxie. I can honestly say, I did. But, a miracle requires much more than my power could ever attain and it must happen in God's time and not my own.
Ben and I talked, and talked, and talked about whether adopting Patrick was "doable". Yes, we do still, on occasion, operate under the age-old misconception that we are, somehow, in control. Finally, we came down to a single question---"If we do nothing, can we live with ourselves." The answer is a simple, from the depths of our souls, trusting Jesus for all we're worth, "NO, we cannot live with ourselves if we do nothing." Nor can I imagine standing in front of My Lord and My God, on that inevitable day, and being asked "Why did you not trust me? You broke your own heart out of fear." Because it is from HIM that I get the strength, the courage and the provision to bring our son home to his family. HE sets the lonely in families.
I know that from the world's point of view---we are completely crazy. After all, we just brought Moxie home. She is fantabulouso, by the way. So completely delicious she is like a little toddler cupcake bouncing around. We are still paying for our travel and we haven't had the time to save up several thousand dollars for Patrick's adoption.
We don't operate from the world's point of view. We are a people set apart. Jesus expects the world to think we are crazy. So, when that happens, as long as we are following The Lord's call for our lives, IT'S OKAY!!!! Also, we never stopped loving Patrick. I cannot put pics of him up right now, but trust me, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S OURS!!! He is radiant, the perfect picture of redemption. I know, that I know, that I know that God has preserved and guarded Patrick for His Purpose and part of that purpose is to become Patrick Judah Root. God said "Go". "He's yours." One choice. One word. One life. One "yes" was all it took for the Peace That Passes Understanding to settle in our hearts. I might doubt a lot of things in this life, but this adoption and the Miracle that God worked to make it happen are certainly not two of them.
There are those who may say, "What if you adopt him and he dies." In all honesty, that is a risk we choose to take because God is leading us to take it. We didn't make the choice with our hearts. Our hearts would have chickened out. We won't even talk about our brains and what those worldly things would have done. We made the decision to bring Patrick and his little broken heart home with our faith. And my faith says, "He does all things well." And, "HIs grace is sufficient." Always. Forever. Eternally.
We have consulted the best of the best in pediatric cardiologists. God has provided us with a local pediatric cardiologist who knows how to help Patrick. The office administrator is a Christian. We know Jehovah Rapha---The Great Physician---and He has always known that Patrick was ours and He knows for how long.
Don't misunderstand. I will fight to mend that little heart. We will have surgery and doctor's appointments and more doctor's appointments. We will give medicine and petition God on our knees. But ultimately, God has Patrick. I am not in control. Never have been. Never will be. And am slowly coming to realize that I don't want to be. Real peace comes in surrender.
Please pray for our son. Please pray that he will be given favor with those in authority and that his little heart, regardless of its broken state, will be healed. Please pray for God's providence in this adoption. It is difficult to ask for help in bringing our son home. Not bringing him home just is not an option.
Our home study will be finished this month. Our agency fees are a little over $3,000. We will ask that this adoption be expedited due to Patrick's severe congenital heart disease. I will go to China alone to save money on travel. Please pray about that.
God is Good. All the Time. May you be granted the desires of your heart in our Lord Jesus.