Wednesday, November 19, 2008

You’re a slow man, Charlie Brown

My favorite Peanuts character is Rerun. Rerun is a baby and he just rides around on the back of his mom’s bike delivering words (or thoughts) of wisdom. Rerun can go all day and never have his feet hit the ground, but the problem is that his mom frequently crashes the bike into trees and other such stationary objects. I feel like Rerun in this adoption process. The CCAA is pedaling the bike slowly into eternity and I’m along for the ride—hoping to get my baby but not completely convinced that my feet are ever even going to hit the ground. I’m just praying we don’t hit any trees….

We are currently 2 days beyond our 11 month LID anniversary. I’ve had at least one major melt down this month where I completely lost faith that we will ever get Maisy and those days are bad. Referrals are as close to stop as one can be without stopping. Only the hand of God can make a difference now. Without faith I have nothing. I have tried to remind myself of all the women in the Bible who waited and waited for children….Sarah waited for Isaac about 80 years if you figure that she would have started having children at 15…Hannah prayed for a child so fervently that the priest believed she was intoxicated. God later gave her Samuel…Leah had several kids underfoot before Rachael bore even one of her own and there were many others. But I don’t have 80 years to wait so I pray and pray some more. No price is too high. I believe with everything that I am that God has promised us Maisy and I am anticipating the miracle that will bring her home.

The word on the street, or Rumor Queen, is not good. Projections are that folks with late 2007 LIDs will be waiting 5 years or more. Lots of couples are leaving the program and either adopting from another country or giving up entirely. My heart breaks for their loss—because that’s what it is—and anyone who thinks that the decision is easily made or that it doesn’t involve the grieving process is completely deluded. But, Ben and I cannot, and won’t, give up our daughter. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord—and the Lord is saying “Wait.”

I’ve got to swear off the Rumor Queen anyway…she’s bad for my mental health.

November is National Adoption Month. This has been a long year and another Christmas without Maisy…hopefully, 2009. Please pray for Maisy, her birth mother and for our family as we seek God’s will for our lives.

Have a very happy Thanksgiving. I leave you with a little list of the people and things I am thankful for: My relationship with Jesus, Ben, the best husband in the world for me, Bobby–he dances, he’s a marksman, he can do math!, Abby—my boss, my Nurse Nancy and my constant reminder that miracles happen everyday if you can just stop long enough to appreciate them, my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, my Jedi muffins–Aidan, Zachary and Brody, Fairo–the man, the myth, the legend, Meredith—I knew her before she was a supermom, Carol—my friend, intercessor and prayer warrior, Andy–run to the tiger, Roy, my country (I do love being an American), K-Love–my all time favorite radio station—it just makes me happy to drive to work with John and Sherri on the morning show, having groceries in my pantry and two vehicles with gas in them in my driveway, the health of my family, my wicked cool sense of humor, Survivor (although, Jeff does talk too much during the challenges), clean sheets, my new electric blankie, hearing my kids and nephews laugh and knowing they have never been traumatized, Andrew Johnson Elementary and the beautiful, dedicated and amazing people who teach there–Angie, Linda, Andra, Cynthia, Dori, Lisa, Debbie, Nana, Shannon, Miss Simpkins and Nurse Jeri, Special Olympics, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts…and a plethora of other people and things that I could fill volumes with.

Dedicated with hope and anticipation to Margaret Rachael Root…my precious Maisy.

May you experience Christ’s love for you,