Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Standard Fee Monster

Despite the American Consulate being closed for almost an entire week, we got our consulate appointment exactly when I thought we would. I will leave OKC on June 14, 2013, at 5:20 pm and land at LAX at 6:20 (time zones :-). Then I have approximately 6 hours to find my gate because I don't leave LAX for Guangzhou until 11:30PM. As directionally challenged as I am, even I can find the gate given that amount of time. Besides that, I'm a woman--I'LL ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!!!

I'll land in Guangzhou at 5:20AM on June 16, 2013, and Gotcha Day will take place at 2:30PM the following day. Oh, Sweet Jesus!!!! I am so excited to hold Patrick in my arms and put my praying lips onto that tiny chest holding such a fragile little heart. I can barely stand it. This time last year, I thought Patrick was lost to us forever. We are so miraculously blessed. Our appointment at the American Consulate is on June 25, 2013, and we leave Guangzhou for LAX at 9:30PM on June 26, 2013. We'll spend the night of the 27th in LA and then be home sweet home at 1:30PM on June 28th!!!! Patrick's first cardiologist appointment for an EKG and echocardiogram is already scheduled for July 2, 2013 at 3:15. I'm as prepared, I think, as I can be.

Now, my agency is not inexpensive. I should know this being as this is our third adoption through them. I guess I should have had an heightened awareness regarding expenses, too, since we went into this adoption virtually BROKE. God has provided every cent from all different kinds of places through this entire process.

Why then did I freak out when I saw a "standard fee" of almost $1,700.00 on my invoice for in-country costs? Ummmmm....because I am a control freak and I totally freak out when I realize that all that control I've been loving is nothing but a sham. A BIG OL' SHAM!!! I was expecting in-country costs, ie: hotel, tours and guide fees to be about 2K. Well, thanks to the "standard fee" it's $4,003.00. Frankly, we don't have it. My last paycheck was $1,800.00. All of that is going toward these in-country costs. We are selling my car (a 2002 Mercury) for whatever we can get for it and the proceeds of that will go toward the adoption as well.

If you follow me on Facebook, you will know that "someone" will not be driving Mama's car because "someone" has been rebellious, belligerent and made vastly stupid decisions, despite Godly counsel. So, the car that was intended for stupid is now being sold to pay the ransom for redemption. Ashes to Roses, I say.

The plane tickets have been bought and I have enough money in savings to pay for the provincial fees, medical, TB test and visa along with the guide's tip of $150 and the driver's tip of $50. I also have spending and eating money as well as some back-up money in case the provincial fees go up suddenly. That happened in Nanjing last September.

It just seems like satan has really gone on the attack when I'm at my weakest. But, come-on, what did I expect? Moxie's major surgery is today, our weather has been horrific here in OKC, "someone" has had his mama in tears most of this week and I'm looking at taking my diabetic self across the world alone to bring Patrick home with money I don't have. All of that is of no consequence until I take my eyes off of Jesus and focus them on the problems I think I have. That is sinful. These are not MY problems. These are opportunities to rely more on Jesus. To trust Jesus more. To praise him MORE. I have no more right to claim control of these problems than I have right to claim credit for my salvation.

Today has been hard. Moxie was in horrible, and needless, pain because the hospital dropped the ball on pain management. It is never easy to lay your baby down and walk away. I know I'm about to experience that again, with Patrick. My entire life has been, I believe, training for this moment--Patrick's adoption and heart surgery. Help me Lord Jesus to keep my eyes on you.

God Bless You and Keep You. May His Face Shine Upon You and Give You Peace.
In Him,

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