I have to confess, I have waited to write this blog post until I was not angry. I don't believe anger, when it is justified, is a sin. I do believe lashing out in anger because one was hurt or personally offended is a sin. That's what I was going to do. But, now I'm not. Because God gave me grace, His grace, in the moment that I needed it. I asked for it. He gave it. Seriously, I need to do that more often.
Here's the situation that got me all riled up. A person I know remarked the other day that a relative had given birth to a child with Down Syndrome. My first reaction was, "Congratulations on the baby!!! Was it a boy or a girl?" The person continued, "Well, we knew something like that was bound to happen. That families xx# child is Autistic. That family has XX# kids and the mom is older (not that it matters but the mom is only 2 years older than yours truly). This person went on to say,"But, you know, the family is X religion, so they probably didn't even want to know that something was wrong with the baby, because it wouldn't have made a difference." At this point, I'm pretty much standing there with my mouth hanging open, thinking, "But, it's a BABY!!!" THEN SHE SAID IT. The words I've heard only one other time in my life as a mom (and from a church member no less). The person said, "Well, I guess it's better than having a kid with CP." Instant pain. Almost instant anger. But, I remembered the words of one of my heroes of the faith, Adeye' Salem, written in her blog--"Ask for GRACE!!." I did. The grace didn't take away my pain, but it kept me from hurting someone that I know does not have a relationship with Jesus. So I said, "I live with CP every day, as you know, my oldest daughter, Abby, has CP." The person blanched. They had forgotten, even though we've known each other for years. She managed to get CP confused with MS and CF before the conversation ended. I'm sure it was, on her part, soon forgotten.
I didn't forget. "Better than what?," just kept running through my mind. I can think of a lot of "better than" situations.
Having Abby with cerebral palsy is BETTER THAN not having her at all.
Living my life knowing Jesus is BETTER THAN the alternative.
Adoption is BETTER THAN being an orphan or a parent with empty arms.
The journey that God is taking us on to bring a critically ill son home from China is BETTER THAN anything I could think of to buy or do or see.
And....extending grace, even when I honestly did not want to, is BETTER THAN being a stumbling block on someone's pathway to meeting Jesus.
Every child is God's child, created in his perfect image, fearfully and wonderfully made, full of purpose and promise, beloved and BETTER THAN anything this world has to offer!!!
Adoption News......We were DTC on 3/1 and logged in on 3/6. Since Patrick's case is being medically expedited, our referral counselor, Kristin, will call the CCCWA tomorrow to check on the status of our LSC/LOA (Letter Seeking Confirmation/Letter of Acceptance). It is literally a "check the box". Just so ya know...We'll be checkin' the OH.MY.GOOD.GRAVY.ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME.OF COURSE.WE.WANT.HIM box!!!! Then we wait for Travel Approval. I really hope I'll be traveling in May!!!!
We are still behind in the financial department. I've applied for 2 grants. We'll use our tax return (I have no idea of the amount we'll be getting back) and if we have to, we'll sell Ben's watch and my hair :-) Anyone read O'Henry's Gift of the Magi? Anyhoo.....I cannot wait to get my arms around that precious boy!!!
We are so blessed that my friends Katie and Sonia are going to be able to hold and love on Patrick in just a matter of hours!!! They are both in Guangzhou, right now!!! HOLLA, Y'all!
I'm sure I was going to say something really brilliant (yeah, right), but now I'm not.
May God bless you with every good thing---including children that are perfect for you, picked just for you, by a God who loves you beyond measure.
In Him,
Amy
